Modern Day Kirk.

“Come on, Alicia, I know you’re there…”

~ ♪♫ They’re watching you, private eyes are watching you ♪♫ ~ “Hello, Sir.”

“Alicia!  Where have you been?  You haven’t been in the office all week.”

“Oh, didn’t you get my memo- I’m taking an extended leave.”

“I didn’t approve that.”

“Oh, I think you did when you stuck your penis in me.”

“What?!  Alicia, do you really think- we need to talk.”

“You mean about how I almost died, you saved me, we shagged, and then you disappeared for a week?  Nah, I don’t think so.  Besides, I’ve got a ruggedly handsome man in my room.  He’s looking highly impatient so I better go appease him before he goes all Tarzan on me. … Although that might be fun, too.”

“Tarzan, really?”

*click*

“Look, I’m just not in the mood to talk to him, alright?”

“But did you have to bring me into it?”

“Did she just hang up on *me*?”

“Hey, I’m a journalist.  A photojournalist, yes, but I’m going to take advantage of a situation the way I see it.  Besides, you were getting a bit testy at me.  Why should it matter if he thinks you might be getting impatient for a good shag?  It’s not like I said your name.  Don’t worry, Charlie-boy.  I won’t damage your good rep.”

“Maybe I’m the only one who’s going to tell you that you’re a total dumbass for avoiding him.  And maybe you should own up to the fact that you are in love with your boss and that’s why his disappearing bothered you so much.”

“Oh fuck off, would you?  Besides- I’m only pissed that he left me in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere.  I didn’t have a wand and frankly it was embarrassing to hitchhike wearing nothing but one of his annoyingly perfect button-ups.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Besides my conscience?  A fellow idiot.  But what do you expect me to do, tell him how I feel?  I’m just an employee to him.”

“I really fucked the dog this time.”

“I doubt that.”

“I don’t.”